Avoid Child Confrontation with Alternatives
Most parents have encountered this situation at one time or another. Your child is doing something that is potentially dangerous, or annoying, and when you try to stop them they throw a tantrum.
The way in whcih parents deal with these sometimes frequent situations is one of the biggest trials that they must face. Positive parenting involving tolerance and lots of praise is well known to contribute toward the development of social competence and self confidence. But parents need to assert their authority and remain in charge.
A toddler can typically be presented with up to 20 restrictions on their actions every hour. I daresay that you wouldn’t like to be told what to do every three minutes?
Parents often need to assert control when a child is doing what comes naturally but can be risky to them or to others around them. Playing with knives, bashing brothers or sisters with toys and fighting are all examples of how children will test their boundaries to investigate the world in which they live.
Providing a child with interesting alternatives can be a great way to defuse a potentially explosive situation and teach them that there are other things they can do or play with. For example, changing a metal knife for a plastic one might be all that is needed. Or let them find out how much it can hurt to be poked in the eye.
Alternatives can provide an effective way to head off a potentially tense situation, but they don’t always work. The first thing to do is to acknowledge what the child is trying to achieve and then to introduce the alternative. Engage the child with the alternative by making it appear more attractive than whatever it was the child was doing before.
There are goind to be many occasions when it isn’t possible or convenient to provide alternatives but these can provide a valuable lesson that the world has its limits. But providing safe alternatives to potentially risky or harmful behavior can help to reinforce a positive relationship with your children and teach them that other options are often available.
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I recommend camping as a great way to bond with children, to provide them with freedom to investigate the world around them and engage with their parents or carers. But always remember to ensure safety by using the right camping equipment. You may like to take part in a bushcraft course where children will learn a variety of skills including how to handle a bushcraft knife, start a fire without matches and tracking skills.
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